12:33pm: Two Birds With One...
[PILGRIM steps on his mark and takes aim at the pin, a young Maple at the top of a small rise. He throws his Cobra--a short-range driver but a disc he feels comfortable with at this distance--and lands it within twenty feet of the pin.]
BARNES: Nice shot, Pilgrim.
PILGRIM: Yes, Barnes, thank-you Barnes. Wait a minute, you’re blind, how do you know it was a nice shot.
BARNES: I smelled it.
SLICE: That wasn’t his shot you smelled, Barnes, that was the smell of carnage, another suicide bombing in the quarter.
PILGRIM: You know, someone told me this morning the Netherlands just legalized euthanasia. Jesus, I’m glad I didn’t sign up for that package, they might have mistaken my handicap for a sign I was suffering and offed me. But the brochures on Amsterdam looked pretty rockin.’
BARNES: Don’t say that too loud, Pilgrim, you never know who’s listening.
SLICE: What handicap, Barnes is the blind one.
PILGRIM: Say what, Barnes?
BARNES: “Jesus,” people say he was famous around here at one time, they might get the wrong idea.
PILGRIM: My frisbee-golf handicap, Slice, I’m not very good and they might take it as a sign of early expiration. And speaking of early expiration, if the Dutch want the right to off their tired, their hungry, their poor, why’nt they just ship them over here. Maybe they can get reservations in some of those shops the suicide bombers like so much. Send those innocent people home, they don't wanna die. Put in the freebies, kill two birds with one…er, well, you get the picture.
SLICE: Yes, but it doesn’t matter anymore, both sides have just agreed to put aside their differences and live together in peace and harmony.
BARNES: It’s a miracle, really!
SLICE: No, Barnes, not really. April Fool’s, Barnes.
PILGRIM: [preparing to putt out the hole] Oh Slice, that’s just wrong…
-CURTAIN-